


Gordon Freeman: Kill Your Friends

by GhostTEETH



Series: Black Mesa: Dead By Daylight [1]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Accidental Death, Alternate Universe, Angst, Body Horror, Inspired by Dead by Daylight (Video Game), Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other, Temporary Character Death, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:49:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostTEETH/pseuds/GhostTEETH
Summary: Gordon Freeman is trapped in the endless cycle of tasks. He stopped trying to hope that he would escape a long time ago, or that he'd wake up somewhere, anywhere, that wasn't the Hell that had been created for the crimes he'd committed.But he may have found a loophole.An escape hatch.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Tommy Coolatta, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Series: Black Mesa: Dead By Daylight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117370
Comments: 15
Kudos: 60





	Gordon Freeman: Kill Your Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Fortnite dances at you as your sleep paralysis demon

Gordon stared into the campfire, ignoring the soreness in his eyes, his legs, his entire being.

As his companions slept, Gordon thought about… wherever they were. Portals had begun opening after Black Mesa, appearing in random places, spewing out skeletons that would hunt them all down. Annoying, more than anything. He’d be showing Benrey and Bubby some garden- they’d never been outside, he felt obligated to show them- and suddenly. Portal. Screeching at them, making Benrey cover their ears and spill out all sorts of Sweet Voice colors that Gordon couldn’t identify.

Or he’d be getting pizza with Tommy. Portal would appear under their feet.

Or he’d be watching TV with Coomer.

Portal.

Portal.

More and more portals. Never ending.

And then there was one that was… different, appearing in his hallway. There hadn’t been skeletons in this one. Nothing came out of this one except the sound of a child crying.

_ The next thing Gordon knew, he was by a campfire, all alone. _

_ And he stayed alone, being transported to various places to do endless tasks while being hunted like an injured deer, only to escape and end up at the campfire again. While he couldn’t tell the time or anything, Gordon learned to tell how long it was between tasks and sitting at the campfire. He could tell when he was going to be dropped into a random house or landscape, right down to the second. _

_ Gordon stayed alone. The scars on his body and psyche grew. He only slept for a few moments at a time, rationed food more than he had in Black Mesa. _

_ “I’m going to be staying alone, huh.” Gordon scoffed. _

_ And then, Tommy and Benrey appeared, clinging to each other like they’d die if they let go. (Gordon felt a twinge of hurt as he remembered that.) Coomer and Bubby came afterwards, though not exactly together. Coomer was dropped into the light, and Bubby was immediately after, right on top of him. _

_ “Where the hell are we?” Bubby yelled. _

_ Gordon shrugged. “Don’t know. Been here for…” he trailed off. How long had he been there? _

_ “Two weeks-” Tommy started, pausing as Gordon shot him a look. “You… you kind of, you know. Disappeared, and. We didn’t know where you were for that long.” _

_ “BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBdon’t like it here. Want to leave.” Benrey kicked a rock, crossing their arms. _

_ Gordon set his jaw, taking a deep breath. Had they looked for him? _

_ “figured you'd just come back.” Benrey said, with a shrug. Fuck, he’d said that out loud. Immediately, a crushing thought entered his head. _

_ “You weren’t worried?” Gordon said, wanting to scream. _

_ A long pause. _

_ "We… figured you were ok." Bubby said. _

Pulling his arms tighter around him, Gordon huffed, trying to ignore the tears filling his eyes. His eyes fell to the pile of books and notes he’d been collecting. Having been there for so long, he’d started trying to find a way to get out, adding to the journal he'd found upon first arriving. The longer Gordon had been trapped, the more the environments seemed to change. He’d heard whispers from what he could only guess were ghosts on how to escape. Even seen little film reels of how others that had been trapped here before had gotten out. The way out was… relatively simple, should it work, but… 

There was no guarantee.

Shit, Gordon had been there for more than two weeks now. Almost three weeks now, and he knew damn well this thing, supposedly called The Entity, was  _ ruthless _ . After everything, he wouldn't put it past it to make up false information to lure survivors astray.

With a huff, Gordon looked around again, glancing over his teammates. His… friends.

Could he call them that after they had just… willingly ignored his absence for two weeks?

Coomer and Bubby leaned against each other, keeping each other warm in the chill wind. The maps had been brutal on the two of them, both being stripped to basic humans. Their identities. It was hard for them to keep up, Coomer having gotten ill from one hunter in particular, and his flesh was now refusing to heal at any wound.

And Bubby was much more irritable… fearful, even, without his ability to indulge in pyromania at any given moment. Gordon had caught Coomer comforting him as he cried earlier, and he silently wondered if his missing his friends had caused them to get trapped here as well.

Benrey and Tommy were tangled up in each other, tucked close, closer than they had been when arriving. Both could Sweet Voice still, but had been stripped of everything else as well. Minus the more physical signs that they were not human.

Gordon looked away, blowing into his hands to keep them warm.

Benrey’s return had been welcomed, if he was being honest. He’d known something was off about Benrey on Xen, and after a talk with GMan- Mr. Coolatta- at Tommy’s birthday party, Gordon had learned Benrey wasn’t in control. The only reason the Science Team had been able to defeat them was because they had been fighting so hard to regain control, they’d damaged themselves long prior. The effects of it were still an issue, and GMan had doubts the parasite controlling them were fully gone.

He’d spent time with Benrey, helping them heal and find things to do. Drove them places to explore, bought them food, given them a home. And Benrey had been grateful, if not confused beyond all fucking belief at first. They all came back together, growing close, becoming a family. Gordon had realized he  _ loved _ Benrey, and that was a jarring realization to have after everything.

One that held heavy on him when Benrey moved in with Tommy.

One that made his heart ache as Tommy and Benrey grew closer, and Gordon grew distant.

Despite the fact that  _ something _ was off, Gordon let the pain overtake him. Thoughts of being abandoned were constant until he was dropped into wherever the fuck, and then he didn’t have time to think about being abandoned.

Gordon sighed heavily, looking at the makeshift timekeeper he’d created out of twigs, nails, and fabric scraps. They had a few minutes before they would be moved to a new location to run tasks until they escaped. The others had only had to do tasks ten times, and thankfully they were able to get them done, but the prepping up was… not easy. And it was only getting harder as Coomer's condition deteriorated and Bubby became more distraught over the situation.

Gordon stretched his arms above his head as he stood, and went about waking all of them up.

“Hello, Gordon!” Coomer shouted.

“Dr. Coomer.” Gordon said with a curt nod, stepping over to shake Tommy and Benrey awake. The two startled slightly, before Benrey started to reach out to Gordon, as if to grab him. But Gordon stepped away, back to where they stored their supplies, not seeing the way Benrey’s face fell, or how Tommy shot Benrey a sympathetic look.

“Time to gear up?” Bubby said, crossing his arms.

A quick glance at the timekeeper, and Gordon responded. “Three minutes. Any supplies you want, Bubby?:

“I’ll take a toolbox.” Bubby said softly, and Gordon handed it to him. Coomer and Tommy both grabbed med kits, and Benrey grabbed their own after a moment of hesitation. Gordon took his own toolbox, figuring it would be best. He typically ended up on his own, anyways.

_ As always. _

Tommy hummed, off to Gordon’s side, before speaking. “Any… ideas on how to get out of here?”

Gordon huffed and rolled his shoulders, trying to shake the stiffness from his back. “I have… one. Maybe. Saw phantoms and like… film reels of other people that got out. Not sure if it’ll work, or if it’s just a way to… make things harder.” Gordon rolled his shoulders, looking at the timekeeper again. "No way to tell if any of it is real."

Benrey and Gordon spoke at the same time.

“what do you mean.”

“Here we go.”

A rush of cold air came over them as the world spun, and Gordon opened his eyes.

The area was foggy, and abandoned, destroyed cars were everywhere. Fires burned in old barrels, and just beyond some wreckage, Gordon could see a pile of bones.

Well, a place to start, at least.

A heavy exhale behind him made him jump, but it was thankfully only Tommy and not… whoever was hunting them. “It’s… cold.” Tommy said softly.

Gordon nodded. “This one always is,” he said as he started moving towards the bones. "I'm pretty sure I've seen snow here before."

“You’ve… you’ve been here?”

Another nod. “Couple of times. I’ve been to most of these places more than once at this point.” He pushed the bones around, finding a trinket lying just under them.

_ Fuck yea. _

A shudder echoed through the air, and he paused. Well… he'd deal with that later.

He picked it up, and the little journal he had found at the beginning of the ordeal buzzed slightly. One of two trinkets found. Six repairs left.

Tommy was checking his own tasks as Gordon looked around. “Uh… collect nectar? What, what nectar? From a flower?"

“Oh, you’ll know it when you see it. It’s a big flower." Gordon paused. "Kind of. It looks like a flower, but I'm pretty sure it's… well, anyways, just take the head of the flower off, and you’ll be good.” 

Tommy grimaced at that, but seemed to understand. "Uh… since you've been here before, do you think, do you know your way around?"

"Pretty much. There's some dead ends inside the main building, so be careful if you're getting chased."

Tommy pointed in the distance. "Is that it?"

Gordon squinted, trying to see a little better, before nodding. "That's it. Oh, the floors are… weak."

Tommy smiled. "I'll be careful, Mr. Freeman."

The two started moving slowly, making their way around the overgrown car park, trying to find any of their teammates, or lights to repair, or whatever was hunting them. Gordon had lectured the group about how staying in one place could get them fucked over, and thankfully, they'd all listened.

An echo almost visibly rolled through the air, alerting them to one repair done. The sound was followed by a screech, the hunter looking. Gordon groaned, “She’s slow, but she throws these huge machete things. Just don’t run in a straight line.” He said to Tommy.

“Got it…”

The two continued on, occasionally having to duck behind rubble or stacks of tires to ensure they weren't in danger. It felt like hours, but was truly only a few minutes, before they reached a shack with a lighting system in the middle.

As they worked, Tommy began to speak.

“Are you… are you ok?”

_ What kind of stupid fucking- _

“Why would I be ok?”

Tommy hummed softly, looking away. “You… you, haven’t really talked with. Me. Or Benrey.”

Oh, oh, Gordon did  _ not _ need a migraine right now.

“They’ve been worried and-”

“I basically got tossed to the side when I wasn’t needed anymore, had to try to cope alone, felt like it would’ve been better if I’d just died in Black Mesa, and the first thing I hear after spending  _ two weeks _ alone and going through this nightmare  _ alone _ is that none of you were worried or even looked for me. Which, you know, did nothing for me other than remind me that I’m not necessary and it really would have been better if I died back then.”

Tommy gasped. “What?!”

Tommy was too loud, and Gordon leaped over to slap a hand across Tommy’s mouth. They stayed in a tense silence, listening for signs that they were in danger. After a few moments of nothing, he pulled away. “What do you want me to say? I kept reaching out to all of you, none of you responded, left me on read for  _ days _ , and I got ditched, which was great to feel right when I’d finally gotten the courage to-” Gordon cut himself off.

“To…?”

“To ask Benrey out.” Gordon said, looking away.

Tommy was silent, processing as Gordon continued working on the lighting system. “Oh.” he finally said. Gordon sighed, trying to not bash his head in on the wall next to him. What did he do to deserve this? Why was this his life? Why did-

"I'm sorry."

Gordon looked at Tommy in exasperation as he continued. "It… it wasn't really a good plan, I guess, but… we, we found something. And we thought that, if, if we could get you away, then-"

A bloodcurdling screech cut Tommy off, and they both froze, wide eyed, realizing.

“Benrey!” Tommy yelled, taking off towards the south exit.

“Tommy-!”

_Idiot is gonna get himself killed._ _Fuckssake._

_ He's not even going the right way. _

Gordon finished the repair, watching the light flicker on, and took a moment to think.

_ Tommy will be fine. Go. _

Gordon went out the north exit, moving as fast as he could. In the distance, he heard a hefty explosion, a generator being damaged, and he remembered then that Bubby had learned how to set one off from a distance in the short time he’d been there.

_ A diversion, good thinking, Bubby. _

As he went down a hill, Gordon saw Benrey, lying on the ground, blood pooling around him. A few feet from him, Gordon saw Coomer...

He was barely breathing.

_ Fuck. _

A worry gnawed in the back of his head that it wasn't the hatchet slinger, instead someone who would lay traps. There was a small list of those who would, but Gordon pushed the worry to the side. He had to focus.

Kneeling next to Coomer, Gordon could see  _ how _ injured he was. "Fuck." he mumbled. He knew Coomer hadn't been recovering as well from the other rounds. He just hadn't thought it was this bad.

Coomer mumbled something, and Benrey coughed, spluttering out something that might have been words.

“Benrey, I’m gonna get you next, okay? I need to help Coomer-” Gordon took a breath, trying to steady his hands. Benrey made a noise, though Gordon couldn’t tell if it was them just acknowledging his comment, or trying to say something.

Gordon took another breath. He wasn’t good at healing, he wasn’t good at healing, he wasn’t-

_ Steady your hands. Take a breath. Steady your hands. Stop the bleeding. Administer painkillers. Bandages. Take a breath. They need your help. _

“Coomer, I’m going to fix your head, ok? I need… I’m going to have to cut the dead tissue off before I bandage it. Stay still. As still as you can." Coomer grunted softly, and Gordon pulled out the scalpel. He could do this, it would be fine.

_ Where the fuck was Tommy? Did he really get that turned around? _

Gordon’s hands still shook as he started, but as he cut away the first piece of bad tissue, he calmed, knowing he could get this done, could do this, he could do this.

Benrey cleared their throat again. "Gordon-"

"Not now."

"listen. i gotta, i gotta tell you something. im not, gonna respawn, its major sucks, i gotta tell you now."

The tremble came back into Gordon’s hands. "You're gonna be  _ fine _ , Benrey. I promise. I'm going to get you all out of here." He locked eyes with Benrey. "I swear on my grave."

Benrey stared at Gordon, trying to find the words they needed. They saw movement behind him, and-

"Tommy, watch-" they started.

Tommy tripped and fell as he ran down the hill as he lost his footing, slamming straight into Gordon.

A horrific sound came from Coomer, and they all froze. Gordon refused to open his eyes for a moment, telling himself it was fine-

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

_ Oh, fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck ohfuckohfuckfuckfuckfuck _

Gordon leaned away, his heart racing, panic and bile in his throat. Tommy stared in horror, realizing, remembering Gordon’s constant words, scoldings, around the campfire, around repair posts,  _ “Don’t run if you don’t need to, stay quiet; stay as calm as you can, the more you panic, the more likely you are to lose focus." _

Gordon looked up, trying to breathe, staring at the sky.

Ever since he’d arrived, there had been a symbol in the sky. One he realized later represented him. He'd met a few random others throughout his rounds, each having one of their own. When the Science Team joined him, it was the same.

Every book he’d found in this labyrinth had repeating words.  _ Representing each sacrifice hangs their own soul within the sky. When set free, the light goes out, and they return to before. _

And every reel…

Every reel, the light had gone out when someone, a sacrifice, vanished.

When they had died.

“Death is the only way out.”

_ “What?” _ Bubby snapped, shaking, tears streaming down his face. Gordon jumped turning to him. When had he gotten there?

“What the  _ fuck  _ are you talking about?" Bubby motioned to Coomer. "Did you do this?  _ What did you do? Why did you do this, what the fuck- _ "

Gordon plunged the scalpel into Bubby's chest, staring directly at him, tears running down his face. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” Bubby spat up blood, rage contorting his features. Twisting his wrist, Gordon continued to apologize, letting Bubby fall, watching another light go out.

Tommy tried to get up, but Gordon was faster, motivated to set them free.  _ Free them. They’ll be home. They’ll be safe. They won’t have to deal with me anymore. _

His skin burned, like hot metal pushing out from under it. "Mr. Freeman-" Tommy started, holding his arm up.

"I'm sorry." Gordon rasped.

Three lights out.

“Gordon-” Benrey said, fearful.

_ Free them. Free them. Free them. _

“You’ll be free. It's okay, it'll be fine. Go and be happy, I swear to God. Enjoy the outside and…" Gordon stopped, tears running down his face. “Be happy. For me."

_ Free them. _

“I’m sorry.”

Despite Benrey being nothing but a corpse now, with Gordon still standing, the last two lights went out.

Laughter bubbled up in his chest, all his hope devoured.

He laughed, not feeling the thorns prick him. Not feeling the way the mud crawled up his skin, or the way metal began to break through his skin.

He laughed, and stood.

And he screamed, a challenge to the other who had set their own free. A challenge to whoever might find their way to this hell.

////

Tommy's eyes opened as Sunkist headbutted his hand, whining.

“Sunkist? What-?” Tommy looked around, seeing he was in his house, the one he shared with Benrey. He was in the exact spot he’d been before they vanished, the one he’d been in while trying to encourage Benrey to ask Gordon-

_ Gordon. _

_ The plan… _

It all rushed back to Tommy at once, and the realization of how badly everything had gone wrong finally set in.

/////

Coomer blinked, holding his head, trying to process. Gordon had been helping him, or trying to. Right before that, he'd taken a heavy hit to the head from a hatchet that seemed to come from thin air. After a moment, he remembered Tommy running towards them.

Ouch.

But now, he was home. He wasn’t in the labyrinth anymore, or in front of a campfire.. He was in his cozy home, just down the street from the Coolatta residence, the one that he lived in with his beloved husband.

Speaking of his husband, Bubby promptly fell into the room, looking startled, and _pissed_ _beyond belief_. The air crackled as flames flickered onto the curtains.

"Bubby-"

Bubby locked eyes with Coomer, and his face fell.

The fire on the curtains, and the one in Bubby’s eyes went out. He reached out to gently touch Coomer's face.

"We're back." Coomer whispered.

They latched onto each other, crying.

Before Coomer could say anything else, Bubby spoke. “He set us free.”

////

Benrey screamed as they tumbled through the air, sending the lamp crashing to the floor. Tommy jumped, watching his friend fall from the table to the floor.

"T-tommy?"

"Benrey." They stared at each other, unsure of what to do or say.

"Bubby and Coomer." Tommy gasped.

The scrambled out of the house, needing to check on their friends. Sunkist followed close behind, having wondered why her owner vanished for so long, and then reappeared, before trying to vanish  _ again _ without giving her a single belly rub. (The absolute nerve he had.)

Coomer and Bubby met them halfway, and they stumbled to a halt just before they crashed into each other.

“You’re back.” Coomer said, sounding breathless.

"You're healed." Tommy replied.

A loud bang, a sound that made Tommy jump every time he heard it, despite having heard it for years, echoed as the world stopped around them all.

“So… enlighten me.” GMan said, brushing his coat off. “Where… exactly. Have you been? Did the… plan not work?"

He looked between them all, and furrowed his brow.

"Where is… Doctor Freeman?"

////

It ached, the heaviness of his limbs. They were twisted, painful, grey. Metal pieces, some from what could be a gun, or a vent, or a cart, embedded into the flesh. Glass grew out of his forehead, each a different prescription. His eyes, now red, searched for something. Pain relief, light.

Someone to tell him it was all going to be ok. That he wasn’t alone.

That was the heaviest part.

Being alone. Even if he didn't quite understand what it meant.

Someone was watching him from a hill, someone he couldn’t quite recognize, wearing a pressed suit and holding a briefcase. The one in the suit felt the pain from the mashed up creature in front of him, not just the loss, but the knowledge that it wasn’t just a desire to save his friends that had driven him, but an acceptance that he was alone, going to be alone. 

There was also the fact that he would have to leave him here, to tell the ones who were waiting, that he didn’t think there was anything left to save. That he had been wrong, and their trust in him was misplaced.

The creature looked at the man in the suit, staring. 

“Do you remember… anything?” the man said.

He stared at the man, his body shaking with effort as he tried to remember. Eventually. he turned away to lumber through the woods again. The wail shook the man in the suit to his core, and it echoed through the landscape.

“Free them.”

**Author's Note:**

> Accidental murder isn't a tag apparently. Huh.
> 
> Next HLVRAI fic is dedicated to those who properly guess what this AU is of. Also if my brain works enough there might be a part two. shrugs loudly
> 
> EDIT: 1/26/2021  
> Hi! I'm slowly fixing things to make them clearer! I appreciate every single comment that is left, it means a lot!  
> Also uhh here's bandaids for everyone and some tender love and support because a lot of you are saying "ow" and I'm getting some uh fears of abandonment vibes from yall, i am there with you and it will be ok, and also i am so sorry that this is causing pain lmao, but seriously if please don't continue reading if it causes you any significant distress!! I want all of you to be ok!!!!


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